READ THIS NEWS ARTICLE
Before we keep going, let’s get a few definitions straight so we are all on the same page.
Social responsibility: The idea that businesses and individuals should not function amorally, but instead should contribute to the welfare of their communities, physically, morally, ethically and/or legally
So now let’s review the above age old question. Does a woman have the right to walk naked in a biker’s bar? NO. It’s neither a natural nor a legal right. In fact it may get you arrested for indecent exposure. And in some countries, it will get you stoned to death. Does she have the freedom or the ability to do so? Absolutely. Remember that with freedom comes a responsibility.
We are blessed to have freedom of speech and expression in our country. And every day I thank my daughter, and every Military and Law Enforcement personnel for that privilege.
Unfortunately there is a lot of sick, demented and twisted people out there. They could not care less what your rights, freedom or their social responsibilities are.
They see something they want, they can get it without getting hurt, and they take it. No moral compass. Is it right? I don’t think so but it is a fact. There are a lot things that are not fair.
If you take the responsibility to find out first IF there are sharks in this areas, IF you have any blood on you, IF maybe there is a safer area to go swimming in, then the odds are you will not get killed or mangled by those sharks. There are consequences for all the choices you make. You are responsible for your choices. You have responsibilities attached to your freedom.
Young girls you need to understand how men think. Young men get aroused looking at a plastic mannequin, that’s a fact. How much more will they get aroused when you give them something to gawk at. While a “normal healthy man” will not act on this, a sick and twisted one just might. Young ladies, having privacy with your male friend is a rite of passage but just understand that when you sit on his bed, however innocently this might have been in your mind, you just told him you want to have sex with him. When you acknowledge his flirting with a coy smile, you just told him you are game. When you let him touch you inappropriately without correcting him or putting him in his place, you just told him you have NO boundaries. You need to understand this and start speaking the same language. And you need to put your thoughts into clear concise words so you are in one accord on their meaning.
Parents, you need to teach your daughters this. Men and women think very much differently. Most of them are too young to understand that fact. What they consider “innocent” behavior might just send the wrong message. You can let your daughter play with fire and take her to the Burn Center after she gets badly burned or you can teach her not to play with fire because she just may get permanent injury out of it. “But mom, we are just having fun. Nobody is getting hurt.”…… not yet maybe.
Dad, spend some quality time with your daughters!!! Teach them to have self esteem, to know they deserve respect, to not be afraid to stand for themselves, to understand how men think and just to love them and be there for them. This will cover 90% of their self defense needs. For the rest of their lives they will relate to men in the way you have taught them to relate, this is done by example, time and effort. In my next blog I will expand on this topic. Don’t miss.
How do you recognize you are facing a potentially dangerous situation?
You need 3 things to have a crime: intent, means and opportunity. Take one side of the triangle away and it will collapse. (I will elaborate more on this topic in the future)
Intent: pretty much what it says. He has the intent to hurt you, rape you
Means: he is capable of hurting you. ie: he is a bigger stronger guy, there are multiple attackers, he has a weapon.
Opportunity: again pretty self explanatory. If he is calling you on the phone to tell you what he wants to do but is nowhere near you, he does not have the opportunity.
Now add to this equation:
Preclusion: means all venues of escapes are gone. You are trapped
And you have a perfect recipe for disaster.
. Predators don’t always look like crazy people that want to kill you. But one thing that should ring all the warning bells in your brain is if they are trying to isolate you, separate you from your crowd. They can do this in a lot of different ways, from cajoling to threatening you. If they lure you into their crowd by yourself, you are in for a world of trouble. They want privacy to do their dirty deeds. NEVER give it to them.
Going back to this young girl who was raped, I know this is not what she wanted or asked for or even dreamed of. Three young men called her and asked her to go party with them in a location she had been to before. I am pretty sure those boys never held a bible study at that location in the past. Since she had been there before she should have been aware of this fact. (and comes to mind the question of why had she been there before in the first place? Mom and dad do you know where your kids are? Where they go to hang out?). This should have set off warning bells. She wanted to feel older and needed and loved (possible daddy issues). She just wanted to have fun, what could it hurt. She was not fully aware that she was walking into a den of hungry wolves, or she chose to ignore her gut feeling, or both. Should they have raped her for it? Abso-freaking-lutely not!!!! NO should have been the end of it. But a gathering of young intoxicated men works exactly like a shark feeding frenzy. They just won’t stop until they are satiated or there is nothing to feed upon. And if going for a swim in the middle of something that looks like the following image would not be a smart, responsible or reasonable thing to do, neither would be mingling with a bunch of young, chemically unbalanced irresponsible young men.
They are totally and completely socially irresponsible. They should suffer the consequences of their actions. There are no excuses for their behavior. Boys, grow up!!!
Do you think if she had first been made aware of this that she would have still voluntary gotten into their car?? I sure hope not.
And looking back at what we need to have a crime, they had definitely the intent and the means. She gave them the opportunity and the means to preclude when she got into their car. They isolated her. They brought her to a place where they could do what they wanted without any witnesses.
Now we can close our eyes and pretend the danger signs were not there but the truth is they were. I am guessing there were a lot of other issues as well. Or we can learn to protect our daughters better. Give them ALL the tools they need to go out in the world. It would be impossible to control all the deranged crazy people out there. But you can have a small measure of control in your home, with your family. Don’t pretend the harshness of life does not exist. You don’t have to scare them out, but give their knowledge a solid foundation. And knowing is half the battle.
For further reference on how to avoid rape, please read this following blog….. fantastic information from one of the best expert out in the field
Be smart, stay safe