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Monday, March 21, 2011

Father and daughter

Like we talked about in a previous post, a good father- daughter relationship, dads giving their daughters the proper tools they need to go in the world, will satisfy 90% of their self defense needs


The father-daughter relationship is like none other you will ever know. It is one of the most special bonds in the world. It is extremely important to your daughter that there is a good father-daughter relationship. Fathers play a huge role in the way their daughters look at the world and everything in it. Parents are the role models that children will watch and copy when they grow up. That is why a good father-daughter relationship is so important

Fathers should make their best effort to spend time alone with their daughters.

Go out on dates, play with your daughters. Special time alone with your daughter is very important. You will build a much stronger relationship this way. You are building bonds, memories together. Sharing laughter and experiences are the best investment you can make.

· "Dad respects me". A daughter's relationship with her father is usually her first male-female relationship. From Dad, little girls gain their first reflection of themselves as a female. They develop a sense of acceptance or non-acceptance; they feel valued or discounted. Self-respect is initially based upon respect received from others. Their self-concept as a female person is largely shaped by this early relationship.

· "It is safe to be affectionate with Dad". Daughters need to be able to relax, be affectionate, and know that they are safe with certain males. They need to be regarded as people, not sexual objects. When little girls develop modesty and learn that they have a right to privacy, they develop a healthy sense of boundaries. They learn how to say "no", which will be an essential interpersonal skill as they become more social.

· "Men and women can negotiate fairly". Father-daughter relationships are an important place to learn how to negotiate fairly and compromise appropriately. When fathers exercise absolute authority, and rigidly set rules, daughters quickly learn to rebel. If a father is overly-critical and all-powerful, men become the enemy. If a father is fair and listens to his daughter's thoughts, she will gain self-confidence and pride in her own opinion.

· "Women can be assertive without being aggressive". When daughters learn to communicate with their fathers, and trust that their opinion will count, they can develop self-assuredness which will allow them to be assertive and stand up for themselves. This is very different from aggressive reactions which stem from a sense of powerlessness and combativeness. It is important for dads to listen to their daughters and appreciate their views, even if they don't agree. When we listen to our children, they are more apt to listen to us and trust us

· "What to expect from a male-female relationship". Daughters learn about marriage from watching Mom and Dad. If parents treat each other well, this becomes her expectation. If Dad is a tyrant, then men are regarded as essentially bad. If Dad is alcoholic or abusive, men are considered to be people who are allowed to get out of control and be hurtful. She will learn things that parents do such as co-operating, responsibility, sharing, compromising, and mutual respecting each other. This will affect her view on relationships.

The unconscious conclusion is…. “If dad treats me well, I am a worthwhile individual. If dad rejects me or criticizes me, I am no good”:

When a father takes his responsibility as a guide to his daughter’s future, knowing fully well that this will have an impact on his daughter's life he becomes a co participant in creating a better future for his daughter.

Dads, don’t miss out. She will be grown and gone before you know it.


  1. Syd made me have a tea party last week. I made it a Japanese tea ceramony and I was the Shogun, but even tough guys can play tea party :)

  2. I'm totally sure that a positive father-daughter relationship can have a huge impact on a young girl's life and even determine whether or not she develops into a strong, confident woman. Outgoings can strengthen family relationships a lot. Agatha Singer has got a great post on this topic. You may find it here.