Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something-
-Thomas A. Edison
That's the spirit you need to posses when it comes time to physically defend yourself. Think your attacker has rules?? Ethics? Moral values? You have to play like he does.
Ever played Chutes and Ladder with a child who is convinced that it's perfectly OK to go up the chute if it makes him win the game? This is the spirit you need to have. Save the "nice" and the "compassion" for yourself and your family. Think outside of the "I need to be nice to people" box that women have been taught to live in since forever. Do whatever you need to do to go home alive!!!!
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