There are no rules to this game

Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something-
-Thomas A. Edison

That's the spirit you need to posses when it comes time to physically defend yourself. Think your attacker has rules?? Ethics? Moral values? You have to play like he does.
Ever played Chutes and Ladder with a child who is convinced that it's perfectly OK to go up the chute if it makes him win the game? This is the spirit you need to have. Save the "nice" and the "compassion" for yourself and your family. Think outside of the "I need to be nice to people" box that women have been taught to live in since forever. Do whatever you need to do to go home alive!!!!

Decision Time

Before you start thinking about defending yourself you need to find what are your limits, how far are you willing to go for protect yourself, where is that line that people will cross that will make you angry enough to need to fight back (notice I did not say “want to fight back” because that can actually be 2 different things, your perception and the reality of it). If you don't know what the line is you will never know when to make people stop in time. In a big city, if there were no stop signs and no traffic lights, driving would be very hazardous to your health. Well so are not having any boundaries.
If you don't choose your values right now, today, somebody is going to choose them for you. You might not like what their choices are so you need to take a few minutes and decide where is the line that people can't cross. What are the things people will do that will immediately trigger your fighter instinct. As women we have been programmed since forever to be nice, not fight back. Society since the caveman has worked in a way where men will protect and be the aggressive ones. This is still wired into our brain. Nothing wrong with any of this. But we need to see it for what it is and understand why we do the things we do. You also have need to survive that should supersede every other needs.
So DECIDE TODAY where and when you need to fight back and what you are willing/ capable of doing to do so. If you wait to decide when you are confronted with a situation, I guarantee you will freeze. You might make the right or wrong decision at that time but are you willing to bet your life on it???
For me that line is crossed wherever someone is trying to hurt me (of hurt my loved ones). Where is yours???

NO means NO

A soft refusal is not always taken, but a rude one is immediately believed.
-Alexander Chase

If you are going to say "NO".. and you should say it immediately if your gut feeling is telling you to... than say "NO" in a way that let's the recipient understand that you truly mean "NO". Confusion and doubt, weak shaky "maybes", should be thrown out the window. Sometimes it's time to be a biotch
And seriously worry about the guys who will not take no for an answer. They are the dangerous one.