People can hurt you physically without your consent. But you have to give them permission to hurt you emotionally. If someone is trying to hurt you emotionally, there are 4 ways to respond to it:
1. “I am hurt, he is right I am so _________” (fill in the blank)
2. “I am so angry at him for daring to do/say this to me.”
3. “He is not worth my time.”
4. “You know this sting but he is right. This is a flaw I have. I should work on this”
#1. This will bring feelings of unworthiness. You have locked your mind. You probably do not realize this is an issue with you but still you are clinging to it, you are hiding behind it, using it a shield. It may be because you have no idea how to deal with it or because it is too large of a task.
#2. If you got this angry, he has apparently touched a nerve. This is a serious issue with you and it consciously or unconsciously bothers you. It may stem from a much deeper issue. This is something you would like changed in you but either you do not know how or you do not want to go through the hard work of changing it. You will make him wrong or demean him to make yourself right, to feel better about not changing. The level of anger it produced is proportional to the level of importance you attach to the problem.
#3. This is a much healthier choice. You are recognizing the person for an emotional abuser and refuse to yield to him.
#4. You have a true healthy positive outlook on yourself. You are able to see the good and bad and you are not afraid to work on the issues that need to be addressed.
Of course there can be a mixture of 1, 2, 3 and 4 combine together in some degree. Evaluate which one dominates the most.
When you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. When someone applies pressure to you, what do you have? This is a great insight into the mind.
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