Honesty is the best policy
We have all heard that saying, and I am pretty certain that most of us agree. I am going to come out and say that honesty is also the best self defense. How does this makes sense?? Bear with me!
To be able to protect yourself, you first have to know yourself. The following 3 steps could be the most important things you achieve to build your self defense skills. Time for honesty.
STEP 1:
Stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. Truly look at yourself. Honestly look at yourself. This is not about being judgemental. It is about being completely honest. What are your strengths.
Are you big and physically strong
Do you have long arms or legs
Are you fast
Are you small enough to fit through crevasses, and escape easily?
Are you cunning?
Are you physically fit
Are you able to talk your way out of most situations
Do you have martial arts or boxing skills
Does it take a lot to rile you up
Do you train in self defense
Are you athletic
Are you intelligent
Do you have good listening skills
Are you able to recognize when a bad situation has presented itself
Do you have a strong self esteem
Can you run fast
Do you have good observational skills
Do you make it a point to go out in groups or to not frequent dangerous places
Are your friends pretty stable, and smart people
Do you know what “normal” looks like
STEP 2
Do the same exercise but now look at your downfalls, your flaws. Again this has nothing to do about beating yourself down. It’s about taking an honest, cold look at yourself.
Are you of small stature
Are you weak
Are you slow
Are you injured
Are you handicap
Do you freeze or panic easily, being incapable of coming out of that state
Do you talk too much
Are you a smart ass, who loves to say inappropriate things that might get you in trouble
Do you have short limbs
Are you incapable of recognizing, and describing what normal behavior is
Are you afraid to hurt someone else
Is age a factor for you
Do you have poor eyesight/ blindness
Do you have poor hearing
Do you have a brain injury that would make you think a bit slower than the average person
Do you have an illness
Are you overly shy, unable to make eye contact with people
Do you have small children in tow, little people to protect
Do you always have your head buried in your phone
Do you love to have ear buds and loud music playing all the time
Are you always by yourself
Are your hands always full
Are you a compassionate person (yes it can be a downfall)
Do you hang at places where people get their mind altered
Do your friends thrive at picking fights or putting themselves in dangerous situations
Do you belong to a violent group or organization
Do you or did you cheat on your significant other
STEP 3
With all this freshly acquired knowledge, now I want you to look at yourself using a different pair of eyes. I want you to wear a predator’s eyes. Play the role of the bad guy.
If you wanted to perpetrate a crime on yourself, what, how, where, why, and with whom would you do it.
What:
Would you steal your wallet, your belongings
Would you want to hurt yourself
Would you want to kidnap yourself
Would you wanted to play a “knockout game”
Would you want to rape yourself
Would you want to hurt yourself (revenge or other motives)
Would you want to carjack yourself
Would you want to steal or hurt your children
Why:
Why were you a good victim: small. weak, distracted, alone?
Why would you think you could get away perpetrating a crime on yourself
Where:
Would you wait around an isolated corner
Would you wait by the ATM
Would you wait into a parking lot
Would you break into your home
Would you wait outside of a work place
Would you wait outside of a bar
Would you wait for particular time of the day
How:
Would you wait until you are alone or distracted
Would you use social skills to get close
Would you charm yourself into getting in a stranger’s car
Would you stab or shoot
Would you drag yourself into a car or a van
Would you drag yourself in a dark deserted alley
Would you threatened your children to get you to listen, and obey
Would you knock yourself out
Would you bully yourself
Would you play the role of a lost or hurt person needing help
Would you blitz yourself
With whom:
Would you do it by yourself
Would you have a partner in crime
Would you have an entire gang to back you up
Would you use a dog
I want you to have an answer to all those questions.
I am not going to lie, this part is somewhat creepy. But it is a powerful tool.
Now shake it off and let’s travel down the last leg of this game. Knowing what you know about your weaknesses, your strengths, and the predator’s point of view, what steps do you have to take next?
First you need to improve the weaknesses that can be improved upon. You cannot make yourself taller or younger obviously, but a lot of those other points can be helped along.
You can eliminate most of the “stupid” out all the things you do: talk on the phone in public, head buried in book or phone, wearing ear buds, always distracted, not paying attention, not following your gut feeling, etc
You can seek good training, good conditioning
You can become the strongest you can be,
You can learn to make your attacker weaker
You can make sure to go out with a group,
You can avoid “bad places”
You can learn new skills that will help.
You can acquire new knowledge
You can learn to observe
You can stop denying that bad things can, and do happen
You can get new friends (yes it MIGHT the very thing you need)
A predator will always have the upper hand….. if you let him. It is his job to stay safe. So he will stack everything he “knows” about you in his favor. He will most likely be stronger, faster, use surprise and violence of action, use the terrain and the surroundings in his favor. You need to be ahead of the curve to prevent his success, or even his attempts. Knowledge is your best weapon. Start with knowledge of yourself.
You can also keep honing your already acquired skills, and current strengths. One can never be too strong, too skilled, too smart.
And most importantly,now that you know what predators see in you (they know your weaknesses, trust me it’s their job to know), you can head them off at the pass:
Avoid the locations where you would have kidnapped or attacked yourself
When you see someone using the tactics you would have used on yourself, it immediately should raise a red flag, and you should act accordingly. No hesitation!!! Run, escape, scream for help, and as a last resort fight your way out. But always go home alive.
Learn to trust your gut feeling, and to express in words what that gut feeling was. “That guy gives me the creep because he won’t take no for an answer”. I cannot stress how important it is to be capable of verbalizing your choices and decisions.
Learn to play your strengths, and hide your weaknesses
Mostly seek the help of a knowledgeable person who can help you becoming the best “YOU” you can be.
PS: if you have a difficult time being honest with yourself, ask the help of a trusted friend.
Be honest, be smart, stay safe.
